SHOULD MEN GO DUTCH WITH WOMEN ON A DATE?
Finally here we are once again, eager to
understand this ‘going dutch’. Well, of course I will explain. So, have you
gone on a date with a lady and then something weird and ghostly crawled up at
the dinner table, dealing cards equally to you and your girl, and all of a
sudden, you conceive the idea to go dutch with the lady? Well, mister, I am
completely not sure that that ‘something’, whirled your mind in the American
gyre and made you reason thousands of miles away from our African essence. You,
mister man, want the tables to turn around so that you can be favoured huh? Huh.
Here, let me
break it down for you. Teenagers are allowed to go dutch when they are dating;
and that’s because they still are financially dependent on their parents. You
would realize that in movies where teenagers went out on dates, their parents
footed their bills for them. Not that the parents were there with them. No.
They both came with their money, paid separately, or when the lady wanted to
make the boy look more responsible as her boyfriend; she would give him the
money to pay on behalf of her. Well, that is for teenagers.
Here is another thing: the ladies. Let’s talk
about ladies going dutch. Well, I discovered
that some ladies always like to shove their autonomy in the faces of men they
date. At the slightest provocation, she would certainly remind you that you
aren’t providing for her, thereby flawing your manhood…(laughs)
Such ladies,
would wear their black dinner gown, high stilettos, with the smartest make up, throwing
the guys off balance by flinging out their bills on the table with such air
that says ‘I am a woman of my own and I seek not your pocket’. These women are
feminists: The ones the famous writer, Chimamanda Adichie, is raising to rule
the world; the ladies that want to be equated to the guys; the type that see
themselves more than a mere rib from the male skeleton; the type that want to
wear the same pair of trousers like the men…..the independent woman.
Unfortunately there are men, many men, who
have lost this cultural sense of responsibility towards the womenfolk and are
agitating for ‘going dutch’ to be recognized as the norm.
Well, I guess
it can be accepted by the independent women who would always say “after all, he
hardly takes care of me. I am my own caretaker”.
Men, have we
taken leave of our God-given senses? Why should we stoop so low to let our
ladies pay their bills when we are there and are sure we are all capable? Are we
tucking money away for the future? If you are tucking away money for the
future, then I suggest you should step out of the relationship you are in and
chase the cash bumper to bumper. Forget
about getting laid, if not, some sharp mouthed women will lay into you.
(laughs).
Wait a minute! I remember the American
comedian, Steve Harvey, has in his new york times bestseller, ‘act like a lady,
think like man’, told women that men are born to be providers. Of course, it is,
without reservation, true. From time immemorial, men always took care of the
ladies who, as weaker vessels, should be dependent on their men. Men feel like real
men when they can provide for their women. If you are a man and you want ladies
to go dutch with you when you guys are out on a date, then you have
condescended on your dominion, and have elevated the feminine power to be at
equal rank with the male power.
So, such a
man shouldn’t be surprised when a lady comes out at the top, heading a big organization.
I say, if men go dutch with women at the dinner table, shouldn’t the same men
be expected to go dutch with the women at the ruling sphere? Guys think about
it! Let’s go back to that traditional male character of wanting to immensely
provide for the ladies we love.
Finally, I say
to the ladies, here is to you, may your man always provide your needs (not your
wants)
To the men,
here is to you too, may you always see the need to provide appropriately for
your ladies. Cheers!
By Ifechukwu Kingsley
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