I Rest Now (to the mother i never had)

I rest now

I rest amidst the clouds

With the daughters and sons of the wind

Free to reach for the moon,

Free to stare into the sun.

Freedom unimaginable

When being mortal felt like a cage,

When mother had me and clothed me in dirt,

Hoping opulence catches up with me

And gives me the life she can’t give.

When I ended up amidst the pack of poor lasses

Catered for by vile nuns,

When food was a luxury I couldn’t afford,

When hard work made my soft hands tremble in pain.

Mother, I know u did what u did

Because father rejected you

You couldn’t feed yourself, and you had me to feed.

I know you cry every day that you did me wrong

You wonder if I attend school with the rich

Or I pick food from the gutter

You curse my father and your life

Rest now mother, rest now

The nun who clothed me, starved me

I looked gaunt and yellow

I rebelled and left through a conduit that let water off the abbey

I lived in the street and ate from the waste.

I slept in empty stores and sometimes in the bush

My heart began to fail me

Help was out of sight

I shut my eyes to the world,

laid my head on a slab of rock,

Breathed my last and gave it up in peace

Now I rest

I rest amidst the clouds

With no holds barred

Jumping from east to west, north and south

I was never a child on earth, I was my own lady

Now, I have all you wished that I should have.

Peace of mind, ease and a cloud of roses

Now I feel like a child

Don’t cry

I still love you

I love you because you gave me life

I rest now

I rest above cloud nines

By

King Ifey Muonyili

Art by

Martin Hudaceca