STOPPING FAMILY INTERFERENCE IN MARRIAGE
I attended church this morning and I heard a very touching sermon about how married ladies are being treated by their husband's family. it is very disheartening why such thing happens. I am not married yet, but then I don't really want to envisage the possibility of something like that happening- a situation where one's better-half can't find her place in one's family.
The woman finally becomes a foot mat where every leg gets cleaned before they enter your family. She equally becomes a hand towel which gets used on hands which have been made filthy from all sort of work; and you, the husband, are going to sit there and watch yourself get tossed around and flung up and high into the atmosphere, coming back to land with no supple cushion to give you the respite much needed.
I may not be the best person to admonish people on this issue, so I would like to admonish me personally.
And here goes.
If my elder brother marries today, I pledge to give equal respect to his better half....she can be twenty while I am thirty- she is still my elder brother's wife. I shouldn't rudely invade their room like a lost mouse seeking for a cheese that can quench its hunger, but apparently unafraid of the impending danger.. Hell no!
I shouldn't start ordering her around because she is just another person from another family. I should bear in mind that when she gave up her maiden name and tied the nuptial knot with my brother, she has become an extended part of him.
For that reason, I should treasure her as much as I treasure my elder brother. I shouldn't conceive the idea of reducing her to a maid or intruding into their house with my camaraderie of friends just to guarantee her maximum headache. if she reprimands me, I shouldn't jump to remind her that she was just picked out from the gutter. This may not entirely be the case, but don't think my elder brother married from the gutter please. Actually, he is yet to go down the aisle...lol
I sincerely hope to get married soon.
Do I hope to marry a lady that my kinsmen won't give maximum respect? well, I don't think so.
And for mothers, of course we know he is your son, but then she is your daughter too. If you didn't know... she, your daughter-in-law, is supposed to be on a ladder ahead of yours. She is the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh. She is not that girl from Igboukwu or that girl from Enugu. She is his one and only and as a mother you should know your boundary.
Some mothers are so fond of just appearing at will at their son's house... some mothers especially when they are eager to have grand children, may decide to call at their son's house at night ...interfering in matters that should strictly be behind closed door. Those people are grown adult. Please let them consummate the best way they can and give you the children you desperately desire.
Mothers please don't go extra length to prove to your sons' wives that mother's love and bond is stronger than anything.. Of course, it is the strongest thing in the world, but then you should realize that their is no bond in marriage. In marriage, two become one and inseparable. So, I wonder what can be stronger than 'one'. Well, you should answer that.
These ladies that always jump into matters that don't concern them, constantly reminding us their status in the house...the Ada or rather Umuada. "He is my brother and she is lucky she was picked from the gutters and gorgeously refined from head to toe, now she wants to order me around like she is queen Eliza?".
Ladies you should know that respect is reciprocal.. If you hope to get married and be respected in your husband's house, respect your brothers wives first.
Finally, we should co-exist happily realizing that a woman is as important as her better half, if
not more important because a man should treasure his wife so much.. Sisters, don't be green-eyed with envy when your brother lavishes money on his wife; because he is still spending that money on himself.. So get over it! Leave the married to enjoy their lives and live in connubial bliss.
So here is to all of us that are usually envious of our brothers' wives, may our green eyes turn blue with love and oneness towards our brothers' wives..lol.
Please, before glasses cling, if you are at war
with your brother's or son's wife please, let this Sunday mark the day you made peace with her.
cheers!
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