King Ifey's Blog

                           How the Choir Makes or Mars the Church.     I  have been to so many churches and my tongue has tasted the sweet savour of gossips served like deliciously hot latte in beautiful mugs;   the choristers sipped as they giggled at each other while the sermon went on. This happens on the choir stand. Yes, on the choir stand. That stand that breeds all sort of personalities, where the devil closes in to attack and the angel stands on guard. Yes, the choir stand breeds enmity and pride. If Nnenna embellished her song, Aramide would definitely get a green tinge in her eye, seeking ways to get Nnenna’s image mucky enough to make the whole church see her filth worn around her neck like a garland. If Femi did his beautiful riffs and runs, that was supposedly out of the world, Harrison would definite...

  Why God is the least feared and Respected Phenomenon in the world . I woke up this morning very late   enough, feeling completely fatigued and having technical problems with my android phone and its one month’s subscription. Eyes heavy and reddened from days of research for my articles as my guys trooped in from downstairs with Sabrina and Alomo , waking all and sundry still lazily lying in bed with me that was laid up from days of research. If I may ask, have you stayed amidst many guys before? Mature and youthful ones, the ones that still luxuriate in their youthful exuberance?  It might interest you to know that salacious jokes, football arguments and alcohol start up their mornings, and that, would be termed perfectly normal by some psychological stereotypes. If I am lying please feel free to tell me to leave it out. Yes, we are all entitled to our own opinions.  Let’s get back to the story. So, we settled in and began the loud blares of...

When I First Met my Aduke The moon sits well tonight It looks well fed and bright And the night almost resembles the day ... Such a night it was when I first met my Aduke... Haaaa... That was many, many years back When most of you were still residents At the other side of the world. Aduke was the village beauty In all the lands of karo ojire I am yet to see one who dances better than her She wriggles like a dancing cobra Had you been born then and seen The beads on my Aduke's waist You would have marvelled if she were not born with them Tales of Aduke's beauty spread like wild fires Minstrels made songs of it And suitors trooped to her father's house with yams and trinklets But Aduke denied them the grace of her eyes... Yes, back to that night... Few of those who are left of my age group May still remember the great wrestling contest Where I threw Ajagbandi, the master wrestler... He tried to lift me but I planted my feet firmly On the h...

SHOULD MEN GO DUTCH WITH WOMEN ON A DATE?   Finally here we are once again, eager to understand this ‘going dutch’. Well, of course I will explain. So, have you gone on a date with a lady and then something weird and ghostly crawled up at the dinner table, dealing cards equally to you and your girl, and all of a sudden, you conceive the idea to go dutch with the lady? Well, mister, I am completely not sure that that ‘something’, whirled your mind in the American gyre and made you reason thousands of miles away from our African essence. You, mister man, want the tables to turn around so that you can be favoured huh? Huh. Here, let me break it down for you. Teenagers are allowed to go dutch when they are dating; and that’s because they still are financially dependent on their parents. You would realize that in movies where teenagers went out on dates, their parents footed their bills for them. Not that the parents were there with them. No. They both came with their mone...

I Want to be Young Again See me running naked with careless abandon Amidst quick showers of rainfall Moments of happiness like this ... Only comes once in a lifetime. Moulding pots with wet clay At times it is a human effigy I keep them in the sun to dry Only to later smash them to pieces again. Watching cartoons on Saturday mornings While drinking tea and eating bread Or fixing my toy car with a screwdriver While Dad looks on amazed Hailing his "Young Engineer" While I, dreamt on about my future prospects. Those days of running home with my report card When mum would hug me For my excellent performance And I could be sure of an extra  Piece of meat when dinner is served. Jumping "Babagate's" fence So I can secretly pluck his mangoes Mama Chijoke's chicken went missing a lot Do not ask me how. The hide and seek games (Boju boju) Fighting for and driving machine tyres "I am Daddy and you are Mummy p...

Nkem Tell me why do things have to change when they were perfect from the start...? Why do we have to lose everything that we have always been holding onto, after everything that we've been through together..? I kept thinking that this loneliness, this sadness, this.. emptiness would be gone if I kept you by my side. But now, I realize that even though something is near you.. they feel.. distant. Was it because I was forcing them to continue staying by my side? Was it because.. because you don't feel the way I wanted you to? Was it because.. was it because I was too selfish to realize what you truly felt? Was it because.. I was always focusing on my feelings, that I didn't even have the time to consider what YOU felt? Or was it because.. you saw right through me..? I thought that this love was our destiny. I thought that you would always stay by my side because.. I felt something connect between us when we first met.. All I ever wanted for us to be hap...

Contaminated Gin ‘ogogoro’   Kills 18 in Ondo State.             Death toll has reached 18 recently in OndoSstate owing to the gin which perhaps may have been contaminated with lethal dose of methanol. The Minister of State for Health, Fidelis Nwankwo, stated this at a media briefing in Abuja, monday.   He said: “At this stage, the particular poisonous substance (toxin) is being ascertained. The results of these detailed investigations currently being conducted by government and partners are still being awaited and will be made public as soon as possible.” Also, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has denied ever issuing any statement on the mysterious deaths. According to the minister, “Epidemiological findings indicate a strong linkage of the outbreak with the consumption of a local gin that may have been contaminated with methanol (poisonous material). “The assuring news however, is that no new cases have been...

The winner of the fourth season of Nigerian Idol, Ms. Evelyn Zibili popularly known as EVELLE, drops her debut video “I’m Naughty” today, 19 th April 2015   on sound city and hip tv. The Edo indigene, who was once a waiter, came to lime light last year after she won the Nigerian idol competition. The 24 year old singing sensation, who has been tagged the queen of riffs and runs, has stormed Lagos, all wrapped up in one massive ball of professional artistry. It might interest you to know that this humble lady with commanding power house voice, has received massive positive ratings all around Nigeria She has to her credit another powerful song “Kilimanjaro”, which I call an afro soul, well make that a serene afro soul. It is also a must listen . The video also premieres tonight on the fifth season of Nigerian idol. So I suggest you stay by your t.v tonight because I am sure she is about to go naughty, probably 9000fts above the ground in consuming ecstasy……lol. ...

People whose bones and spirits Crunched under jackboots, People whose eyes looked on In wordless supplication, Were liquid with sorrow, In the boat of a saviour, Sailed through eerie tempest To arrive at the promise land, Relieved  from their pains With some easement granted, Are now divided in their allegiance. Who, may I ask, Are your brothers? That you now unsheathe  Your sabres and machetes, Sharpevilled to spear points, Aiming  at your neighbour's heart, Spelling out malignant nemesis in villainous passion Because your pride-dumbed mouths have Suddenly, like a parrot, found their expressions. People of the rainbow kingdom, Misguided by the king's word, Abandoned the feel of respite in their kingdom, Unleashing lightening to their friends and neighbours While the rain threatens to fall. But when the sun shines yet again On this rubble, And the mauled souls get respite ...

The Wonders of Banana Peels When it comes to its health properties, here are some great ways to use banana peels: 1. Re move Warts You can use banana peels to remove warts in two ways. First, simply rub the inner part of the peel on the wart for two minutes or until it is thoroughly moist. The other option is to place the peel on the wart and secure it with a bandage. In this way you can keep the peel on overnight. Choose which method works better for you and repeat it until the wart disappears completely. 2. Treat Bug Bites and Skin Irritations (Eczema) Rub the inside of the peel on the affected skin area. This will keep your skin hydrated for longer. The nutrients in the peel will neutralize the stinging and itching sensation. You can also use the peel as a pain reliever. 3. Whiten Teeth Rub the inside of the peel on your teeth for 1-2 minutes. Rinse. Repeat the treatment twice a day for a week. 4. Acne Treatment Simply rub the inside of the banana peel on the...

The Venereal Disease that Could Make You Barren for Life: PID So ladies have been accusing the witches in their districts, the pots of alchemy their grandfathers  buried in their compounds and the curses transcending ancestors for their inability to bear . Wait a minute! There is one shocking news we all need to hear. The witches and ancestors can’t be blamed for everything, at least not our own sheer negligence. In some cases, if not most cases, we are still to be blamed for our shortcomings. Being barren is simply not a good thing and Mrs. Bee’s story tells us more about this. Mrs. Bee was a very beautiful lady, and just this morning she had dressed up for another visit to the diagnostic medical Centre which a consultant gynecologist had directed her to with a well filled request form. Very apprehensive she was, very bitter and eyes widened by insomnia. Well the tiredness of her face was buried in her deep foundation, and so sh...

Is it Written That Women Shall not Wear Trousers? Deut. 22:5 It has been a topic of major concern for everybody, mothers, fathers, clergymen and pastors. What exactly does the word of God say about women wearing trousers?                “ A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.” Now this has been well said. Shall we then try to analyze and be very objective at discerning these things. Yes, we can’t deny the fact that divine order has been given to humans so as to help differentiate sexes by mere sight. The burning desires most girls have these days especially when it concerns what they wear, is   waxing fast. Many Christians still speak vehemently against trousers as though it was what God personally had in mind when he told the Israelites what to wear and what not to wear. I am not sure thoug...

Did You Know about Lumbersexual Men? Here we are once again, with another new word lumbersexual. Well I have to say that lumbersexual as   a word could be very ambiguous, but then in all its ambiguity, there is still a common entity, and that common entity is the beard.   Having beards have evolved over the millennia as not only the sign of virility, but recently it has taken on a more fashionable stand in the contemporary world today. Yes! That is exactly what is trending right now: men with beards.   Now shall we go down memory lane. From the 1920s to 1980s, the bar handle   moustache had its reign during the pre-colonial era and after the independence , when British   blokes milked Africa of its natural resources. I am sure if we accumulate black and white pictures taken during this period, we would discover how viral the bar handle moustache was, and how our grandfathers’ grin in pictures made   them look like Cheshire cats ...